I’m a mommy- a proud, loving, devoted, committed mommy. My life is consumed by this responsibility because my children are young and still need me to take care of almost everything for them. These are the years that are quick to pass, but require a full-time commitment from me. Although infants are a lot of work, I’m so thankful for this time with them. Before having children of my own, I hate to admit it now, but I would hear about this from other women and I just didn’t get it. I didn’t understand how they could lose so much of themselves and allow their identities to be based on small humans they birthed. It was a mystery. How could children, of all things, take over their lives and their minds?! It was as if my friends were obsessed with them! I was convinced I would never let that happen to me. When I had children I WOULD NOT be one of those moms …
Then I got pregnant for the first time. I was in awe of this life I was growing in my body. The first time I felt my son kick, that sweet little flutter in my belly … it nearly took my breath away and I began to quietly weep. It was real. My baby was alive and now I could feel him. This was the first step in developing our relationship. Next I would get to see him on a high-tech ultrasound that would allow me to visualize his features in an almost photographic quality. There he was! I could SEE him! I could see what he was doing as I felt him moving. INCREDIBLE!!! I was in love. I hadn’t even met him yet and I was in complete, unadulterated, beautiful, sweet love. Look at this tiny person that’s half me and half my husband, completely dependent on me for his life right now. He was safe and sound, as he grew in my womb. WOW. Then there was his birth. After an agonizing 26-hour labor, I was handed this itty-bitty miracle that snuggled immediately to my breast and knew my voice and found comfort in my arms. I still tear up as I think of those little eyes trying desperately to focus on my face during our first meeting. This moment instilled feelings in me that can only be understood by a mother that has experienced it. Not even the father, present for all of it can understand it. I’ve asked my husband and as wonderful as the emotional experience was for him, it wasn’t anything like mine. My husband sacked out that first night of our son’s life while I, who hadn’t slept in 3 days because of the labor pains, couldn’t sleep because of the sheer awe factor I was experiencing staring at our precious new addition.
I could literally write a book about all of the interactions over the years with my children, but I’m sure any good mother could do the same. I won’t bore all the non-moms with details they may not truly comprehend the significance of. The point is, when you’re a mother you can’t help but be obsessed with your children. They are the most wonderful, brilliant accomplishments of your life. Other things are still important, but not AS important. I don’t care about purses, shoes or jewelry anymore. I only shop for myself if I need clothes to keep from being naked, not to stay in fashion. My fashion most days are ponytails so the baby doesn’t rip my hair out, running shoes so I can chase a toddler, clothes that wash easily in case Payton touches me with food on his hands or the baby spits up on me and a diaper bag that goes with everything. I don’t care about nights out on the town because I’d rather be home with my husband and kids watching the Disney Channel. Sometimes my kids get sick at the most inopportune times and I have to put off my own plans, disappointed but I wouldn’t dare abandon them for my own selfish desires when they need me most.
It’s unfortunate that the details of motherhood bore some of the non-parents, if you don’t understand our sheer pride in our careers as full time mothers or our children’s latest achievements- as mundane as they may be to you they may be a major breakthrough for us. Being a mother is the hardest job I’ve ever had and probably will ever have. Running a household of 2 children, a husband that works 2 jobs and doesn’t get home until 9 pm most of the time, nursing an infant every 3 hours, endless laundry, endless diapers, 3 meals a day, 2 snacks a day, dishes for all those meals, budget-conscious grocery shopping, nap schedules, working part-time from home and spending quality time with the kids to snuggle, cuddle and love on them can be tough. I’m up between 4:30 and 5 most days and go full-speed until 9 pm when I crash into bed, 7 days a week. I’m fortunate that I can work from home, but some days it seems harder to get my work done within the chaos. I guess some people won’t get it until they’re a parent themselves. After all, I didn’t. I can only hope that if it’s something you choose to do, you will enjoy it as much as I have. I’m also thankful for so many different personalities of people and have developed an appreciation for most. I believe God made us all to do (and be good at) different things. I believe He designed me to be a mother.
Motherhood Mayhem & Merriment 